Before becoming a mom, I always knew that if I had milk supply, I wanted to breastfeed my baby and do my best to continue it.
For me, breastfeeding was always the option I hoped for during pregnancy. But once my daughter arrived, I quickly learned that feeding journeys do not always look the way we imagine them.
The First Days
My daughter was born healthy and beautiful, weighing 6 pounds and 15 ounces. She latched very well from the beginning, so at first everything looked okay. But the reality was a little different. She would latch… but she wasn’t actually taking enough milk.
Maybe she was still tiny and didn’t have enough strength to pull properly, or maybe she was simply a sleepy, lazy baby. 😁 Sometimes she would only take around 10 milliliters and then stop. So, she stayed hungry all the time. I still remember being in the hospital when they gave her formula because she was crying from hunger. And honestly, in that moment, I felt like I failed her. Even though I had colostrum and my milk supply simply hadn’t fully come in yet, I felt emotional about it because I wanted breastfeeding to work so badly.
Trying to Make It Work
Once we got home, I kept trying everything.
I was going to speak with a lactation consultant once a week, and she helped me a lot with positioning and latching. My daughter actually latched very well… she just wasn’t pulling enough milk. I tried silicone shields. I tried different positions. silicone nipple shield. Nothing really changed.
So eventually I ordered a breast pump online. While waiting for it to arrive, I used a manual pump first. And honestly, that pump helped me so much in the beginning. Little by little, my milk supply started increasing. And once I started pumping and feeding her from the bottle, everything changed. She was finally full. Happy. Calm. And I felt relief seeing her satisfied after feeding.
One thing I also remember worrying about in the beginning was hearing different stories from other moms. I often heard things like, "Once a baby tries formula, they won't want breast milk anymore." Of course, every baby is different, but that wasn't our experience at all.
My daughter received formula during those first couple of days because she was hungry, and honestly, I was worried about how that might affect our feeding journey. But once my milk supply increased and I started pumping regularly, she transitioned to breast milk without any issues. After those first two days, she was exclusively drinking breast milk, and formula was no longer needed for us. I remember feeling relieved because one of my biggest fears simply didn't come true.
Pumping Became My Full-Time Job
At that point, I decided to completely focus on pumping and giving her my breast milk through bottles.
Since I had good milk supply, I personally wanted to continue with my milk instead of switching fully to formula.
But pumping is a huge commitment.
In the beginning, I pumped every 2–3 hours, including overnight. I barely slept.
Pump - Feed the baby - Lay her down - Wash bottles - Sleep for one hour or hour and a half, and then pump again, feed the baby, lay her down........... Over and over.
And honestly, during those first couple of months while I was using the regular pump with all the tubes and wires, almost every video I made of my baby had the breast pump sound somewhere in the background 😂 boop… boop… boop…
At one point, that sound basically became part of our newborn life soundtrack. 🤷
It was exhausting and honestly very overwhelming at times. But at the same time, I felt so happy knowing she was drinking my milk. That feeling made the hard parts feel worth it for me.
The Portable Pumps Changed Everything
At first, I used a regular pump with the tubes and wires.
It worked well, but I always had to sit down, cover myself, and stay attached to the machine for around 20 minutes every session. I even drove while pumping sometimes. 😊
Eventually, after around two months, I started searching for portable pumps that fit directly into the bra. They were expensive, but honestly, they changed everything for me. Worth every single penny.
Suddenly I could walk normally with the pumps in my bra, go outside more easily, drive comfortably, do things around the house, do workout. Without feeling attached to a machine all the time. That gave me such a feeling of freedom compared to the first pump.
The Mental and Physical Side Nobody Talks About Enough
Even with portable pumps, pumping became part of my entire daily life. Everywhere I went, I had to think about:
• if my pumps are charged
• milk storage
• cleaning supplies
• bottles
I always carried extra breast milk bags from the freezer with me "just in case." Sometimes I would pump 100 milliliters from each side. Other times only 30. So I constantly wanted backup milk ready because I never knew exactly how much she would want or how much I would pump that session. It takes a lot of planning, mentally and physically. And honestly, sometimes it felt overwhelming.
I also experienced clogged ducts sometimes, even though I pumped regularly. And honestly… they could be very stubborn. My breasts would feel extremely heavy and hard, almost like rocks.
What personally helped me the most was massaging with olive oil and slowly massaging downward toward the center breast duct while pumping. Sometimes I even had to do that for 20 minutes per side before the clog would finally release. Of course, every breastfeeding and pumping journey is different, and this is simply what personally helped me.
Once Solids Started, Things Became Easier
After she started eating solid foods, things slowly became a little easier for me.
I no longer had to pump every 2–3 hours. I could stretch it to every 4 hours, sometimes 5 or even 6 hours later on. And finally… I could sleep a little bit more too. 😊 That helped me so much physically and mentally.
13 Months Later
My breastfeeding and pumping journey lasted 13 months. And when I finally stopped, I remember feeling two emotions at the same time - relief… and happiness. Relief because suddenly I didn’t have to carry pumps everywhere, wash pump parts constantly, organize milk storage and freezer bags. I didn’t have to think anymore:
"Do I have enough battery for one more pump?"
"Did I pack enough milk bags?"
"Did I bring cleaning supplies?"
I finally felt freedom again. But at the same time, I felt proud. Because even though it was hard, exhausting, emotional, stressful and sometimes overwhelming - we made it! And for me personally, it was completely worth it.
What I Learned
Before becoming a mom, I thought feeding would come naturally and easily. Sometimes it does. And sometimes motherhood asks us to adapt, learn, problem solve and find our own rhythm. Exclusive pumping honestly felt like a full-time job for me. Day shifts, night shifts… 24 hours.
It was exhausting sometimes, overwhelming sometimes, and there were moments when I felt completely drained physically and mentally. But at the same time, knowing that my daughter was exclusively drinking my milk made everything feel worth it for me personally.
That feeling kept pushing me forward during the hard days. And honestly, if there is a mom currently going through pumping or breastfeeding right now, I just want to tell you that - yes, it can be hard, but you can do it.
One day at a time.
At the same time, I also deeply understand and feel for moms who wanted breastfeeding to work and simply couldn’t continue for different reasons. Motherhood already asks so much from women emotionally and physically. And I truly believe that formula is not something bad at all. Fed, loved, safe and cared for babies are what matter most. Every mom who is trying her best for her baby is already doing something beautiful.
My journey happened to look like exclusive pumping for 13 months. Another mom’s journey may look completely different.
And both deserve understanding, support, and kindness.
This was my breastfeeding and pumping story and I hope it can be helpful to you, mama.
Mariana
Heart of Baby Fil